Is this what a midlife crisis is?

Could it be just about friends? Or feeling a lack thereof?

Lately I’ve felt untethered to my hometown. I feel as if I’ve drifted from my local friends. Most of my best friends, the ones that know everything about me and love me as I am (and vice versa) all live far away.

I don’t feel like I have anything in common with the other parents at my daughter’s school. I’ve not been loving south Tampa’s hyper-Republican (it’s fine, just not for me), non-artsy vibe. Kind of a general feeling of not belonging, loneliness, post-post-post-teenage angst?

I realize this sounds like a whiny, self-pity party but stick with me for a minute, I promise that I have a point.

I have already taken steps to improve how I feel about where I live. I choose to focus on the friendly parents I’ve recently met at my daughter’s bus stop. I choose to make plans to spend time with the amazing friends that I do have here in Tampa (Maura, Devo, Courtney, and Kim, I’m talking about you—you rock). And I am choosing to seek out art and places that I feel inspired in. (Like Café Hey and the awesome new Oxford Exchange).

Still, as I wrote in my post last week, I headed to Atlanta last week uber excited to see some of my friends from college and head back to a city I had loved.

And it was wonderful to see them, good for my soul and all that stuff. But guess what? As I talked with my friends over the weekend, I discovered that they have been feeling the same way, friend and location-wise.

M and W live in a beautiful suburb with the best schools in the Atlanta area, but they too feel like the only Democrats lost in a sea of Republicans…and boy does  their neighborhood have the yard signs to prove it! They mentioned the idea of moving somewhere that felt more like “home” to them.

H confided that she feels like she doesn’t have any friends there anymore and would consider moving back to Denver if she wasn’t tied to her job in Georgia.

You see? It’s not just me. And, honestly, none of us are whiny people on the norm. I swear!

So we decided that it must be our age. We range from 38-41. Perfect midlife crisis ages, right? I have always pictured midlife crisis as the stereotypical 40-something man leaving his wife, buying a sports car and starting to wear an ill-advised gold chain, but perhaps there are varied and subtler shades of this age-old phenomenon?

Mid-life Crisis Car

Photo credit  Stellar Midlife Crisis Car

It turns out that the Atlanta I had been romanticizing isn’t really even there anymore. It was more about a time and an age than a place. And I am okay. What I feel is okay and possibly even “normal”, whatever that is. I feel a weight lifted from my shoulders as I accept that life changes and it is beautiful and the people who I love and who love me back will always be there, no matter where they are.

If you are older than me or around the same age, did you ever feel this way, or are you feeling this way now? Talk to me.

P.S. If you haven’t heard, Facebook is apparently limiting the number of people that can see your posts on a “fan” page unless you pay for advertisements. Uncool. Please subscribe to my blog by email (top right sidebar) so that you won’t miss any posts due to Facebook’s A-holishness.

As always, please share and like or whatever pleases your fancy. And leave comments, I love hearing from you.

You have now reached the end of my requests. 🙂




14 thoughts on “Is this what a midlife crisis is?

  1. Yes, yes and yes! The upside to living in this environment is that you can feel like you are some sort of a bohemian because you do not have a drive an Escalade, have prosthetic body parts or a Romney/Ryan sign. If you move to NYC, the San Francisco area or any other hipster locale, you would have to work very hard to be cool. In Tampa, the fact that I once read a book has allowed me to prance around and lord my intellectualism above everyone else. The older I get, the more I appreciate the low cost of the moral superiority! Great post!

  2. As always, you hit the nail right on the head. I may have already gone through several of what you describe and talk about. You are right, no place will ever be the same because it is always about a time and certain friends who are a part of your good times and memories. All these “ingredients” help shape our memories:).
    You can always move out to CA to help out with the other part of your story:). Please keep writing! Looking forward to the next one!

  3. Steph, politics has had nothing to do with it in my case.I have felt like an outsider before, but especially where I am now in exile.If it were not for online social intercourse, FB with family and friends and now, my blogs and fellow bloggers,I would not be sane,(or as close as I am ever going to be!) One has to decide, as you have , to find the good and grab it.I learned long ago that it isn’t worth the aggravation to worry about the others or force yourself to deal with them when they can be avoided.
    I wish you peace.

  4. This is great! I hear you, though I am SO lucky to live in Missoula, MT, a place I’ve lived for twelve years and that is full of old friends and new surprises. Even still, the Missoula I love is often stuck back to the Missoula I fell in love with, as a twenty-six year old, and it can be hard to “grow up” here. Even still….I love this place!

  5. P.S. I’m currently trying to get more people to follow my blog, and it’s frustrating that the page I see and the directions I give might not always make that easy. Not seeing the sidebar to follow yours….

    • Thank you for the comment! I know, my “follow” thing is complicated and dumb. (I should probably do something about that.) You have to go back to home page and then it is on the right sidebar. Thanks for following. 🙂

      I loved your post about writing/submitting book proposal. Good luck with that and I hope you will keep us apprised of your progress on that through your blog. Take care!

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